How to Safely Leave Your Dog or Puppy Alone at Home & Prevent Separation Anxiety

Leaving a dog or puppy home alone can be done safely with the right preparation and training. Because dogs are naturally social animals, being alone doesn’t come easily to them. By building a strong bond and gently introducing short periods of alone time from puppyhood, you can help your dog feel comfortable and confident on their own. Without this early training, though, some dogs may struggle with separation anxiety, a stressful condition that can lead to unwanted behaviours and often needs professional help to overcome.

For most of us whether we like it or not, there are going to be times in our dog’s life when they will be expected to stay home alone – even if only for brief periods. Other dogs, especially those with working owners, may be expected to be able to be left for longer, and for more regular stretches of time.

As a social species, being on their own is not a natural behaviour for dogs, and as such, separation anxiety is one of the most common problems behaviourists are consulted for.

If you want your puppy or dog to be able to be left alone at home, you need to recognise that this is unnatural for dogs, and so do some preparation and training to ensure they are able to cope when you walk out of the door.

Understanding Separation Anxiety in Dogs

Dogs are naturally a highly social species – and this is one of the things that make them such fabulous companions. From the moment a puppy comes into their new home, their social need drives them to bond with the people in it and create a new ‘family’ or social group.

In a group there is safety and security, and so, unlike cats who are largely independent and solitary, dogs feel ‘safe’ in their social group – however large or small that might be. Some dogs will bond strongly to one person while others will bond to the whole family. This is largely dependent on the breed, their upbringing/history, the family itself, and their individual nature.

In contrast, being alone and isolated feels unnatural and ‘unsafe’ for a dog and the resultant emotions can lead to a variety of symptoms and behaviour problems. For owners who come home to a trail of destruction or loss of toilet training, it can be tempting to think that the dog is being naughty or annoyed at them for leaving, however this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why Do Dogs Get Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety arises when dogs haven’t been taught the coping strategies and developed the confidence they need to deal with being left, and is a fear (sometimes intense) of being alone without any way to alleviate that fear – and can be viewed as similar to a human panic attack and is just as debilitating.

Symptoms of separation anxiety can include:

• Looking worried and stressed when they think they are going to be left
• Barking, whining and/or howling when left.
• Chewing and other destructive behaviours.
• Excessive panting and salivation.
• Pacing and an inability to settle (this may continue even after owner has returned)
• Loss of toilet training in an otherwise toilet trained dog
• Vomiting or diarrhoea
• Scratching or digging at doors (sometimes leaving blood from split damaged claws) and attempts to escape
• Extreme/frantic greeting behaviours
• Depression that may continue into everyday life
• Self-mutilation
• Aggressive behaviours, reactivity, hyperactivity, or other apparently unrelated behaviours that occur at other times due to increased stress or anxiety

Types of Separation Anxiety

While we have historically lumped behaviour problems when a dog is left alone all together under the heading of ‘separation anxiety’, in reality there are different types of separation related behaviour problems, all with their own specific triggers, symptoms and emotions.

These fall mainly into four different types (and some dogs will suffer from more than one type):

1. Exit frustration - where the dog is desperate to follow the owner and becomes increasingly distressed when they are unable to
2. Redirected reactivity - where the dog is reactive to outside triggers when left alone (noise, movement etc) and then is unable to settle again
3. Inhibited reactivity - often seen in more nervous dogs who are worried, stressed or show panic when left but become withdrawn rather than destructive
4. Boredom-related distress - where the dog becomes increasingly agitated over time due to lack of social contact or interaction

It is difficult to say how many of the UK’s dogs struggle with being home alone, but recent surveys say anything between 40% to an extraordinary 80% show symptoms of separation anxiety – which if accurate, translates to up to 11 million dogs in the UK struggling with being left on their own!

Many of these are as a result of owners not taking the time to prepare their dogs to be left or just not understanding how hard it is for dogs to be left on their own.

Preventing Separation Anxiety & Leaving a Dog Home Alone

Like all behaviour problems however, prevention is better than cure – which is extremely difficult in severe cases and will need help from a qualified, accredited behaviourist who specialises in this kind of work.

The Role of the Breeder

A good breeder will be breeding puppies from parents with good confident temperaments and rearing them in the home. This in turn helps to ensure puppies turn out with a similar level of confidence. During the puppies’ critical habituation period, while they are learning what is normal in this strange new world, a good breeder will give the puppies short opportunities to interact with people on their own away from their mum and the rest of their littermates. This is already teaching them a little independence and is giving them a good head start.

Building a Secure Attachment

New research has shown that while breed and type may well play a part in separation related behaviour issues, one of the main factors is the attachment style of the owner. We know that this impacts on the behaviour and future relationships of children, and it seems that it is exactly the same in puppies.

Owners who display a disorganised or anxious attachment style, and so behave inconsistently or unpredictably and so cannot be relied on by a puppy to meet their care needs or to be there for them when they are feeling anxious, worried or stressed, are far more likely to have dogs who grow up to have separation related behaviour problems.

In contrast, puppies who are reared by owners who have a secure attachment style and who as a result feel ‘safe’ and supported by their owners (especially in those early weeks in their new home when they need a lot of care and support) are better able to learn to cope with being left home alone as they are more secure and confident, as they don’t have a history of owner abandonment or unpredictability at times when they are feeling worried or stressed. Just like children, they are far better placed to be independent and confident when they have a secure, loving, predictable family base.

Early Lessons: Toilet Training & Independence

This is one of the very first things owners teach their new puppy, and it is one that sets the tone for their future training, confidence and attachment style.

With all the best intentions, a new owner may create a fear of being alone by shutting their puppy in the kitchen to spend their very first night on their own, without stopping to realise that this is a tiny baby, whose world has just totally changed and who has never spent a night away from their mother and littermates. This often immediately teaches the puppy that in this new life, they are going to be left alone and that when this happens, it’s distressing and scary, and their new ‘family’ can’t be trusted to be there to comfort them.

Choosing a Dog: Breeds and Independence

Some breeds/types and individuals struggle with this far more than others. Often these are companion breeds (whose ‘job’ was to be with us all of the time), and some of the herding breeds and working dogs who were designed to bond and work very closely with their owner. If you try and push this too far too fast in these pups, you are in danger of creating the very problem you are trying to prevent.

In contrast, others are more confident or sometimes more independent and are better able to do things while you are not close by.

Step-by-Step Training: How to Safely Leave Your Dog Home Alone

From the minute you bring your puppy home, they should learn that they can trust you to be there for them, but there are times when they can’t always be with you – and that’s absolutely fine.

Each day make a habit of giving them the very best treat that you know they love and that will take them a minute or two to eat and then going off into a different room and leaving them on their own for a few minutes. Don’t shut a door or shut them in a pen – just walk away. If they follow you, that is fine. But ignore them and just stand immobile and stare out of the window or check messages – just do something really dull, with no movement, no noise and no interaction. In other words, teach them that sometimes following you is often boring but in contrast, staying on their own can be really enjoyable. Make this a very short period to start with and then come back with no drama or fuss. You can slowly build this up

You are giving them the choice but for puppies who often have a big case of FOMO (fear of missing out – and let’s face it, you might be doing something really exciting!) learning that you can be boring and good stuff can happen when you are not there is a valuable lesson in teaching that being on your own is OK.

Don’t lock them away to do this – as otherwise you are likely to create frustration. Frustration can cause separation related behaviour problems just as much as fear of being alone does.

Remember that your puppy’s natural need is to follow you – and creating and enhancing that bond is a key part of the early days with your dog so suddenly changing the rules creates conflict.

You can do this when you feed them their dinner too. Just quietly walk away while they are eating for a few minutes and return with no fuss at all. Make these comings and goings a part of life from the very start so you give them the confidence to be able to deal with a degree of distance as an everyday event that they are happy with rather than needing to be glued to you all the time.

You can build that up to going and having a shower without them, going for a walk around the garden – anything to teach them right from the beginning that not being with you every minute is not a crisis, and by giving them something tasty or more interesting to occupy themselves with, it can even be something to look forward to.

Introducing short periods of alone time

If all is going well, you can slowly start to go out without your puppy for five minutes, then 10 minutes, then 30 minutes - until they’re happy to stay on their own for longer periods of time but always make sure that you take it very slowly and to start with, stay close at hand.

With slow positive introductions to alone time, you should soon have a dog you can leave when you need to go out or go somewhere your dog can’t go with you.

Making Alone Time Enjoyable Using Toys & Treats

There are other treats you can leave your puppy with when you leave them especially if they are toy oriented or love to chew. Use stuffed Kong’s filled with their favourite yummy snacks or dog-safe peanut butter etc to keep them occupied, give them an outlet for their chewing and gnawing behaviours, and help make your absence enjoyable.

Or you can use empty kitchen roll tubes or thin cardboard boxes to fold up treats or kibble into and leave them to work out how to rip and tear those to get the treats out. Giving them something to mentally focus on that is fun and will provide a reward, can make your absence unremarkable.

Or use a sniffy mat or a licki mat.

However, if at any point, your puppy gets distressed or seems worried, stop. Go back a few steps. Remember you are aiming to teach them that being alone is OK – and it is your puppy that decides this and not your expectations.

Leaving Your Dog Alone for longer periods of time

If your dog’s life is going to involve being left alone for longer periods of time, and you have done all of the above, there are going to be other things you need to think about.

Where will you leave your dog? This needs to be a room in the house that is warm and comfortable where your dog is used to being but that is safe with nothing to chew or any hazards.

Ensure that were you are going to leave your dog is quiet and away from passing people or traffic so that noises or movement from outside won’t disturb them.

Make this comfortable with somewhere to relax and settle and access to fresh clean water.

Get your dog used to settling in this room while you are at home if it isn’t a room they are in regularly, so it is a familiar space.

Start off with short practise periods of leaving them before you have to leave them ‘for real’.

Before leaving your dog – even for practise sessions – make sure they have been out to the toilet as they will not settle and relax if they need to pee or poo.

Also make sure they have had some exercise before you leave them – a walk or a game - so they are more likely to be tired and better able to settle rather than be full of energy.

Build up their home alone periods slowly – and if you are not able do that, find someone who can help out and be there with them during this training period as you gradually build up the length of time they can be left.

You are working towards creating what will be your every-day routine, so your dog has some predictability and knows what to expect.

Using technology for monitoring purposes

When you begin to leave them home alone for longer periods, it is important to be able to monitor this at all times. We don’t know how our puppy or dog is behaving when we are not there to see them, and it is easy to assume they are happy when maybe they aren’t.

Many people have no idea their dog has separation anxiety until their neighbours tell them that they are barking or howling – or until you see the more extreme symptoms and by this time it becomes very difficult to overcome.

Thankfully we can now use technology to help you know exactly what’s going on when you leave, so you genuinely know your puppy is happy and not distressed. Set up a webcam with an app so you can watch your puppy on your phone while you’re away.

Time spent teaching your puppy that being on their own is safe and part of being a family dog will pay off in the future – but it does take time, patience and gradual controlled exposure. Some puppies find this fairly easy and can be fairly relaxed about being left after a few weeks. Others will take several months, while others may always hate being left.

Remember that being left alone is unnatural for a dog and that they need company and social contact, and no dog is happy being regularly left alone for hours on end every day.

Adapting to Unexpected Routine Changes

No matter how much we plan, sometimes life throws a curve ball. Changes of employment, divorce, bereavement, and other life changes can mean that a dog who has rarely been left alone has to get used to their human not always being there as they go back to work.

If you know what your new routine is going to be, build up to leaving your dog during these times to help create a predictable pattern.

If your dog already shows signs of separation related behaviour issues, consult a behaviourist for help immediately to assess and help you overcome this or advise on management and how you can start to put back-up plans in place.

When Your Dog Already Shows Symptoms of Separation Anxiety

Many people come into dog ownership expecting that they can leave their dog for hours from the very start. This isn’t the case and can set a dog up for a life of separation anxiety – or a situation where owners can never leave their dog as they have, with all best intentions, taught them that being on their own is scary.

For people who know that they have to go to work and that their dog will be left, it is better to find an older dog needing a new home that is already used to ‘home alone’ time.

Solutions & Support for busy owners

For dogs who are rarely left alone, who already have separation related behaviour problems, or for owners who don’t have the time to slowly teach their dog that being alone is safe, there are options – although these come at a cost.

Pet sitters can stay with your dog while you are out, come will take your dog into their own home, and others can pop in during the day to take your dog for a walk, play with them or just give them some company.

Doggie day care can also help working owners. Usually, your dog will be picked up in the morning (or you drop them off) and they will be dropped off again at night.

While these services can be invaluable for owners, take time to find good reliable professionals who understand dog behaviour, know what to do in an emergency and that you can trust totally with your dog. Asking your vet and other dog owners in your area can often be the first step in finding someone who can help you.

Family member or friends may also be a good source of help – and if they are dog owners too, you can create your own dog sitting support group.

Does having more than one dog help?

Sometimes. If a puppy sees an adult dog who is happy and relaxed on their own, they are likely to copy them and get comfort from their presence. This can kick start your ‘home alone’ training. If however the adult dog is worried about being left alone, this will be passed on to the puppy. If the puppy is strongly bonded to their human however, another dog being there might not make any difference.

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